Purgatory. No man's land. Neither here nor there.

"Home is not a heavenly mansion in the afterlife but a safe place right in the midst of our anxious world." -Brennan Manning

Sometimes I feel like I'm in this crazy place between where I want to be and where I am. I know God has great purpose in where I am right now, but sometimes it's hard to get that truth from my head to my heart. But I'm concerned that where I'm headed won't satisfy either. Puerto Rico sounds great and will satisfy for only a short time before I become restless once more. The longer I'm on this earth (all 23 years ;-), the more clearly I realize I'm not made for it.

This transition to the mission field is a rocky road. God is teaching me things, but they're kind of like learning Latin for the SATs: painful at every step, sometimes looks pointless, but in the end you're thankful you endured because the outcome is better.

I'm trying to navigate my life right now with little to no consistency. It's been tough travelling all the time, having a lot of alone time, and being stripped of all the things I used to put so much importance in to. I have a new found respect and awe for truck drivers who spend so much time on the road! It is a constant struggle to trust the Lord's provision and timing, which is always perfect. He has me in Florida now; Florida is His BEST for me. If He were ready for me to be in the mission field of San Juan, He would have me there. But, for now, that is not what is BEST for me. I take joy in that and the gift of my time with family.

So the times of knowing what my days and weeks would look like are gone, only to be remembered in the back of my mind, consistency being something we generally take for granted; though, stability can also rob us of our true reliance and dependency on God. This deep reliance on Him as my everything I pray will last through support raising and into my time in PR, but I'm concerned I will turn to my old ways of self-reliance once I have ministry, fellowship, and independence again.

Please, begin to pray for the students specifically that I will be ministering to and that God would continue to give me a deep joy for the calling He has placed on my life...What a beautiful calling it is! What a joy it is to be a part of something that started at the beginning of time and will last to the day of redemption...bringing the Kingdom to Earth.