the good, the bad, and the ugly

Well, God has been up to some crazy things these past few days, and I wanted to catch you all up to date because PRAYER WORKS. It’s been hard to keep up with my blog in the last couple days, only because I’m busy, not because nothing has been going on…
Thursday, we went to feed the children breakfast in the Precario neighborhood as always. As they ate their breakfast with us on the way down the hill to school, we came to meet a woman named Gloria. She was there to watch after her little son and brought her new-born baby with her. She told us a little bit about herself, but it was obvious she needed some more time to talk, so we scheduled a coffee with her on Monday, to get to know her better. She was talking to us initially to see if we could give her some diapers and food for her babies, but we thought it would be best to get to know who she was…We left the Precario excited about getting to know Gloria and thankful for God’s open door. You see, I’ve been praying since December that God would allow me to work with not only the children in the neighborhood, but the women and the families…I saw this woman as a possible answer to my prayers and waited patiently and prayerfully for Monday.
Saturday, we had breakfast and a lesson in the precario as always with the kids. It’s funny because although Saturday is the weekend for most, it’s my busiest day. After working with the kids in the morning, I go feed people in the Red Light District and the shelter downtown that evening. It was a super difficult night for me. Pablo, a man whom came to our church one Sunday and decided he wanted better for his life, whom lives in the Red Light District, showed up to get food from us. He was high as a kite. His life hasn’t taken the turn we’d hoped…And Juan Carlos, the friend that I’ve made in the shelter, was somewhat drunk. Every week, I’ve been learning more of whom he is and what his issues are. I realized a while back that I’m the only one in his life who believes that in Christ, he can shake his addiction to alcohol. Every week, we plan about ways he can spend his money when he receives his pay check and who he is in Christ. His issues have been gradual, ever since his parents abandoned him from birth. It was really hard to see him in this state, realizing that he’d spent $150 on alcohol between Friday night and Saturday afternoon. I told him how I felt. I’m not going to pretend like I know what it’s like to be an alcoholic and I really don’t know what to tell the dude. I continue to try to tell him he’s not a “bad person” and what God might have for him in his life, but I just told him my heart. I said it hurt ME when he makes these decisions. I wanted him to know how much I pray for him and that I hurt to see him struggle and I want better for him. Well, I don’t know if I should’ve said that but I prayed for him, and as we left the shelter, he went into his room and cried.

That night was by far the hardest thing that has happened to me here in Costa Rica. It’s very difficult to see people stuck in addictions because I’m learning a very important lesson. I CAN DO NOTHING. GOD can do everything. I can love God and love people but I can’t make them accept a truth nor make them choose better decisions. I can’t stop their bodies from craving drugs or alcohol; I can’t make them understand the life they can have in Christ. God changes people. I do not and never will.
Sunday, I needed a break. We went to the beach with a bunch of girls for a day. It was a good break and we enjoyed time in God’s creation.
Monday, we had coffee with Gloria. I’m not going to lie, Gloria has had a HARD life. I’ll hit the high points. She’s 19 with a 6 month little girl and a 3 year old boy. She’s Nicaraguan, but she’s here in Costa Rica with no identification whatsoever. She has trouble making ends meet because of the little cash she gets for child-support ($100 a month) and her lack of identification make it difficult to find work. She was raped at 6 years old, serious family dysfunctionality with her mom, and years of bad decisions that haunt her since she was 11 years old when she began to rebel in every way. It was difficult for me because, as so often happens, I felt God say, “LISTEN to my daughter.” So often we’re quick to interject when often the best way to serve is to listen. As a single mom in this circumstance, it was good to listen to her and serve her with our time and prayer, mostly getting to know her.
But after the last couple of days, your heart can get a little heavy at the issues people deal with that I will never know personally.
Tuesday, today, we had our Kid’s Club, as we always do and celebrated birthdays from January and February. After time with the kiddos, I ran home to make banana bread and head back to the neighborhood to have cafecito (coffee) with Marta, the mother of two boys we work with. She’s a great lady. She opened the doors of her tin home to us and a few of her neighbors…GOD SHOWED UP. HE’S SO GOOD. They are hungry for Him. PRAY PRAY PRAY please, as God continues to bless our little women’s group. He’s so so so good